It is already 1 in the morning, a Saturday morning.
Many may not have to wake up early for work, but I have to.
Just got home from Cell group and a CF gathering cum farewell. Had lots of fun catching up with friends and all. I was tired, but now I am wide awake.
Suppose to be sleeping by now… but I feel like my peaceful night has just started ever since I got home.
A little emo here… for no reason.
There are some thoughts running in my mind, which I have not figured out. Yet. No one could tell me why… but only God could.
Maybe it’s the time where I suppose to really sit down and have a nice reading on my bible. I have not been really enjoying it for quite some time.
The discipline of at least doing my devotion once a day was gone… ever since I started working. I got no one to blame on, but myself getting pull away by work and all.
A question just come into my mind, ‘where do I stand in God’s kingdom?’
How am I suppose to answer, or, how can I answer this?
Well, it is pretty much clear. I thought I know where my stand is. Actually, I am NOT.
I am NOT sure if I know where I am standing…
I am feeling peaceful here… it is a really quiet morning here.
Well, it is 1.30 in the morning… what should I expect it to be noises and all. Maybe that’s the reason why I love doing my assignments in the middle of the night while I was colleging.
The only noise that’s surrounding me is the engine sound of my room’s air condition. I feel like I am the only one awake on the earth… even though that’s not true at all. The silence does make me feel so.
Life is full of challenges. I am so packed up with… work, church, activities, friends… and etc. Almost every nights I forced myself to bed, all because I got to wake up early the other morning. Rushing to bed has never really grant me any good and peaceful sleep.
I need a time for myself… silently… with God. When there is no voices, no music, no talking, no nothing; but just my keyboard’s sound when I am typing and the air con… I realise I can think so much clearer.
My mind is clear.
My heart is beating, peacefully.
I am breathing, freely.
Everything seems, so wonderfully.
Yeah, It’s been something where I quiet down myself… to think and… just being quiet. I am always up to something. Even I am home not out I will be either online chatting, watching tv, or on the phone.
It’s not frequent for me to get this kinda peaceful midnight. My current job and the fact that has to wake up early never really grant me the chance to stay up ‘late’.
Well, at least I did tonight. That’s enough. I am satisfied.
My eye lids are getting sourish and heavy, I really got to get on bed any sooner. Or my performance might drop tomorrow due to the lacking of sleep. I pray and rebuke that possibility and putting all my trust in my Lord, Jesus Christ.
I do not know what will happen the next second, minutes, hours and day or week. But, He does.
So I am putting myself once again on His mighty and loving hands with all my trust.
He is going to use me as His tool, to bless… to love… to shine… to blink.
He is Almighty in ALL ways…
He is Jesus Christ.
My Lord!!
COOL!!!!